What Does “I Love You” Mean?

What does “I love you” mean?

So many of my clients call to ask what it means when their new love interest begins to say “I love you” so quickly after meeting them. Often they are extremely skeptical of this newly professed “Love” because of past experiences that did not work or that broke all trust or simply betrayed their love. It is so hard to trust when we have been hurt or used. To best enlighten them, be totally honest and hopefully not hurt them, I use several points to help them protect themselves and look at this realistically.

Always know a possible true love candidate for marriage or commitment at least one year before you make a lifelong commitment to them. That first six months, the so called “Honeymoon Period” when they are smiling at us about everything and we are smiling right back showing them our best side, everyone is just so charming. After six – twelve months of knowing and loving them, life crisis situations will come up. They do in all lives. When the hot water heater floods their home, the car gets broken or wrecked and they have no ride, does your love stand up and take care of things or do they call Momma and get help and ask for money? What you learn about people’s character in a crisis is what they will be doing the rest of their lives and maybe yours. Is it what you want?

Are they jealous and controlling, always demanding to know where you are going and what you are doing every minute? It won’t change. What you see is what you get. It may be terribly flattering at first but having someone demand an accounting of all of your waking hours will not make you happy for long. You will begin to feel trapped. They will not allow you to have family or friends in normal relationships, only them.

When they start immediately telling you how much they love you, be very careful. Oh, sure they may love you, but what they are not saying is HOW they love you. Wrongly we assume that when love is spoken of it is the “Happy ever after” kind of love. What they often mean is (1) I love the way you look, (2) I love the way you care for me, (3) I love the way you touch me, (4) I love the way you buy me gifts, (5) I love the way you feel against me when we have sex, (6) I love what you can do for me and how you can help me, (7) I love the way you take care of my many responsibilities, even taking care of my kids when I won’t, (8) I love the way you give me money, (9) I love the way you will do what I say, when I tell you to do it, (10) I love the way you will give up all of your family and friends to “prove your love” to me even though I won’t give up any of mine, (11) I love how if I have a tantrum to get my point across, you always give in to me, and the list goes on.

Certainly they love you. What is there not to love? You are enabling them and giving them ALL of YOURSELF. Why wouldn’t they just love it? What remains to be seen is whether or not they will stick beside you through thick (good times), and thin (poverty or depressed times), and invisible (when there is no hope or help and you must simply stick together to survive or be destroyed by the pressures of life’s circumstances). You get to make the choice.

Listen carefully when the “I love you” words start being said. Actions speak far louder than all of the words in the world. If not, the price you will pay will be your love, life, body, mind and spirit. It is far too costly to let pretty words deceive you. Listen and love yourself. You will never be sorry.

Find the right love for you. Pray for God to send them to you. Ask for truth, honor, love, peace, joy, dependability, and Godliness. When they show up, then pray for their life, their family, their children, (legal and step ones), their job, their friends, their habits; pray for it all. It will only help them and you. Be sure and thank God when they show up.