Have you ever wondered why you don’t get the peace in your life that you so desperately seek? Why you can’t feel good about yourself and release your anger? Why you just seem to “go off” in rage when moments before you were so calm (outwardly) and things were so in control, or at least seemed to be?
Very valid questions, all, yet what are the answers? Does the peace have to be learned or is there some secret sect, religion or culture where one can go to obtain it? It cannot be found quite so easily.
Peace comes quite simply from forgiveness. It is impossible to have without forgiving yourself and others those things that have brought you shame or sorrow or both. When we dwell on our failures and weaknesses and continuously attack our psyche with the “what if I had done this instead” or the deadly “could have, should have, would have, or if only,” phrases that tear our mind and spirit apart, it will never be ours.
From a very early age we were taught shame for failures or misjudgments we may have made, as a way to train us into fitting into society and responsibly assuming our place there. As we grew and understood more clearly that we certainly weren’t perfect, those of us that really needed to “fit” into the prescribed role our parents or teachers laid out for us worked harder, faster and went farther to achieve the task or work at hand. Not everyone put such strict standards on their personal achievement. Those of us that feel we are “overdosed on responsibility” learn quickly to actually “hide” there and prove to ourselves and others just how valuable we really are to everyone.
When the outcome isn’t what we imagined it would be, when the instant acceptance from the “others” does not come we often begin to build walls of resentments and angers that only alienate us further into the agony we feel. People are going to continuously disappoint us. That is a given fact of life. Even if we have realistic expectations, by our definition, often the others have another agenda or purpose, don’t see the point, or just frankly through lack of interest or responsibility, don’t care. We, without meaning to, build our castles upon the sand of that illusion, feeling all the while that it will surely come to pass the way we want it to. Dreams and visions based on unreal expectations seldom come true for us. Certainly if we are waiting for the others to make it happen for us, we could wait forever.
Life serves up hardships and losses that are emotional, spiritual, physical and materialistic in nature. We redirect our efforts to plot the next victory and then sometimes through no fault of our own, it never happens. Disappointment sets into our souls bringing the heartache of failure, and leaves us to question our value. Are we worthless? Do we matter? Why did “they” make me feel this way? It then becomes so easy to slip into the “what if, if only” state of mind to further torture ourselves with these real or imagined failures or ineptitudes.
After a time, we build up such an overload of failure that we blitz ourselves continuously with those moments instead of just letting them go. We emotionally barrage our spirit, beating it up, attacking it in every direction for not being perfect or right or whatever unreal expectation we hold steadfast in our reasoning. With enough of this self-inflicted misery, we are able to sink even lower into a depressed state, never even realizing we are the one that holds the key of escape for our very existence.
The peace cannot be present when we are in such an agitated state. Worse, if we become our own personal persecutor that just never quits pointing out our failures, it never stops. Constantly measuring ourselves by others’ achievements, possessions or attributes is often an emotional “kiss of death” we can never overcome. We find ourselves in this hell of our own making, running our life as though it were on a treadmill without purpose, running as fast as we possibly can, yet going nowhere, achieving nothing except the total aggravation and frustration of the meaninglessness of it all.
To make any change in our lives takes effort. Sometimes the effort is just a few steps in the right direction and with a little practice, the change seems like it is normal for us, even comfortable after only a short time. If the sorrow is overwhelming you and misery surrounds you daily, what would you have to lose by going in a different direction?
As humans, sometimes it is hard for us to believe that we do actually hear from God or that He might even send angels to bring us inspiration or words of encouragement. It is easy to doubt our worth and question if we are even good enough to communicate with God/The Great Spirit/The Creator/Tetragrammaton/Jehovah/Messiah/The Light/Budda/Allah/Abba/Father/Lord/The Great I AM/YHWH (JHVH,Yahwah) or whatever name you call the source of the Holy Presence of Creator in your life.
We are the one that puts distance between ourselves and the God Spirit. You can actively pursue a closer relationship with God as you know Him. Please don’t feel unworthy. We all sin and fall short of the Glory of God. We are human and flawed. We say things like hell or damn or worse in our moments of anger or anxiety. We are not perfect. We are only striving towards perfection of our spirit in this existence. True, we do make wrong choices or hurtful ones to others or ourselves and often we pay for those.
Sometimes it is immediate and other times we see far-reaching effects of our actions. We can only ask for forgiveness and try to make amends for our mistakes. God honors our asking if it is sincere. The first time we ask we are forgiven. The scriptures tell us this. We are the ones who sometimes refuse to forgive ourselves, and continue to carry guilt or shame for our actions. We actually make our lives much harder by not forgiving ourselves. This simple act of forgiving is a key to a better spirit life that will bring you joy and peace.
Forgiving frees you to try again and feel better about yourself while doing so. It is often a way to open a door that may have been shut between you and another because of disagreement. I am not saying you must forgive everything and become a victim of others. If you forgive a friend who sometimes picks up spare change that you have left out in the open during their visits, that is your option. If you forget about it and completely trust someone that has proven themselves untrustworthy, you are leaving yourself open to be taken advantage of again. Forgiving is one thing. Forgetting what you have learned by experience, and allowing it to happen again and again, does not help anyone. It makes us angry and bitter, not a pretty picture. These feelings will hurt us even more if we allow it to happen.
Try clearing your slate with God as you picture Him. Talk to Him just like He was a good friend. † You don’t have to know profound, religious, Holy prayers to do this. Neither do you have to go to a church to feel the presence of God or angels around you. If you are comfortable going, by all means, do so. Go where there is a good feeling of the Holy Spirit and you can sense the peace and love that is present. If you don’t feel that peace and joy and outpouring of love, go somewhere else. If you have been let down by a hypocritical type feeling, (the do as I say, not as I do), this often turns us off completely to God. Please try to remember that people wrongly judge others even though they have no right to do so. They take and twist the facts and try to control others with their demands and expectations of how they think we should live our lives. This is not God. It is people trying to assume a God-like position of power in our lives.
The Scriptures tell us in Saint Matthew 7:1; Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2; For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
God welcomes hearing from us and is honored when we seek Him for direction in our lives. He will assist and bring miracles to us when we are sincere in our asking of Him. He will use angels or whatever means it takes to bring us up to a higher level of wisdom and understanding so we may be on our way to a higher purpose of fulfillment in our individual lives. If you are new to the asking part, start simply. Begin with a greeting to your Higher Power. Thank Him for all the blessings in your life and the circumstances that you need some help with. You can talk openly and honestly with God, admitting your lack of understanding and even your anger. This is not new to God. He has dealt with anger of His own in the Scriptures and it won’t shock or surprise Him. Ask Him to forgive all of the anger, hatred, jealousy, bitterness, rage or sin that you may have in your life. Speak to Him about the pain others may have given you and how these things hurt you to bring you to this point in your life.
Just open your heart to the truth of your feelings and ask Him to come and help you or your loved ones, (family or friends), find a way out of the pain of sadness or impossibilities that face you. Ask Him to send angels to assist you with your choices and direction. He will do all He can to help you. After you feel you have poured our your heart in spirit, simply thank Him for his help. Know that He will work through impossible odds to provide a way of escape from our misery.
God seldom sends us the lotto to change our lives, but sometimes the miracles we see happen in our lives or others we pray for feels like the lotto to our circumstances. This is the kind of God He is; an all seeing, all powerful God who is able to deliver us when we are unable to do so for ourselves.
† Note: It is understood that Christians pray to Jesus, as He is the pathway to God.
The hard part, after praying, is to trust and believe. Sometimes waiting is so hard for us. Many of you will say, God is not interested in me or does not have the time for someone as unimportant as I am. This is the most dangerous of all feelings, self-doubt. It is our doubt that separates us from the mercy and will of God. We feel inferior and stupid or helpless in our sorrow. We think we don’t really matter to an invisible God force and, therefore, do not deserve or merit any help in our lives. Nothing could be further from the truth. God is willing to help us and love us. We are the ones that set limitations or boundaries on this, not God.
Recently I had a client ask me if God still hated her for something she did over thirty years ago. She had never spoken a word of prayer to Him in all of that time because she felt like her sin was so huge that He would not want to talk to her ever again. She often wanted to pray, but felt like it would fall on deaf ears as she perceived herself as so evil. All of this time she longed to talk to Him, but doubt and fear kept her from doing so. I gently reminded her that the very first time we ask for forgiveness, we receive it. We are the one who separates ourselves from the Divine influence and the source of our help and strength. I encouraged her to go home, stand in front of a mirror where she could be alone and say to herself, “I forgive you for making a mistake, for being human. If God can love and forgive me, I am able to forgive myself.”
This may seem ultra simple to those of you that like pomp and ceremony and lots of agonizing over your issues. The simple truth is, ask for forgiveness, be sincere in your request, and feel the love of God as you know Him, surround you with healing and a cleansing touch. Then, it is crucial that you forgive yourself. Then, and only then, are we able to go forward in our lives.
Of course, you cannot live like hell, rip others’ lives apart, manipulate and contrive things in your favor and expect God to be on your side. You have to be sincere. It is the key. A contrite spirit is a blessing to all it touches. Use your own wisdom and knowledge to help others and it will bless you back again and again.
If your want to get a little extra help with your spirit, to understand better those problems that come against you or just to seek the wisdom of the God Spirit, start with talking to your angels. It is so incredibly simple and yet we feel so weird about talking to beings we cannot see. You do not have to talk out loud if it makes you feel silly.
Concentrate on what you have to say in your head. Send the thoughts from your spirit on to your Higher Power and ask that the angels come to give you the help that is necessary. If you feel comfortable asking aloud, ask the angels that protect and guard you to make themselves known to you. This may be done by speaking directly to them. Don’t be shy. Angels were assigned to each of us before we were ever born and are in our life to assist us. They only wait to be asked. Why not try it and see what might happen! It can’t hurt, in fact, it just might help change your life in a way you never knew possible.
Whether you consult with angels or not, I encourage you to open up to God and pour out your broken spirit to Him. He will not mock you and reject you as humans do. His love is all forgiving and all encompassing. Don’t be embarrassed if you haven’t talked to Him in a while or even if you never have. Just start now to seek the forgiveness and let the healing begin. When you no longer have to carry the burden of shame and guilt or hatred and bitterness around with you on a daily basis, you will be amazed how quickly your life will change.
May God bless you on your journey as you begin to experience the “Peace that passeth all understanding,” (Philippians 4:7). It will change your life forever.
